63: The truth about moving abroad: 4 lessons I wish I’d learned sooner

Have you ever thought about moving to another country but faced doubts from others or yourself? In this episode, I share lessons from my experience of living abroad.

These are the 4 lessons I wish I'd learned sooner: 

• Some people won’t ever understand why I want to live abroad and that’s okay.
• People I loved (AKA my family and friends) only discouraged me from moving abroad out of fear, not because moving abroad was actually a bad choice. 
• I was worried about missing out on events back home. I wish I would have realized that staying in the U.S. would have come with its sacrifices as well.
• You don’t need your dream visa and job right when you move abroad. 

If you’re considering moving abroad or are in the process, this is a great episode to learn from the lessons I had along the way. 

Give the episode a listen to hear more!

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Website: jordangiberson.com
Instagram: @jordan.giberson

Transcript

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I was excited about the potential to learn a new culture and to be able to travel abroad easier. And to be able to have friends with people that are from different countries, all these different opportunities that I wouldn't have had in the U.S so it's not the U.S wasn't good enough for me. There's things that the U.S has that I don't have here. Hey, my name is Jordan Giberson. I'm a Texas girl living and thriving in London. The best thing I've ever done? Moving abroad, hands down. And I'm passionate about helping others do the same. Are you curious about finding a job abroad? You're in the right place, friend. I'll teach you the tried and true secrets of how to make moving abroad a reality for you and how to live a fulfilling life once you get there. We'll cover topics like choosing the best visa for you, how to get a job offer in another country, how to get over your fear of moving abroad, and how to live a life you love once you get there, this is The Move Abroad Podcast. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the move abroad podcast. Today, we're going to be talking about the truth about moving abroad 4 lessons I wish I had learned sooner, but before we get started with today's episode, I wonder, would you be willing to send this episode to a friend of yours that you know, has talked about moving abroad before. That way, if you can send the episode, they can start listening to the podcast and just learn more about moving abroad and that way we can help more people be able to move abroad. So if you don't mind sending this episode, you can either share link to the podcast in general or share link to this specific episode. I would be so appreciative of that. But, anyways, we'll go ahead and get started with today's episode. So there are 4 lessons that I really wish I would have learned sooner. So there are 4 main lessons I wish I would've learned sooner when it comes to moving abroad. And the first one is that some people won't ever understand why I want to live abroad and that's okay. That's something I really wish that I would've learned sooner. It would have given me a lot more peace. So it was really hard for me not to have the 100% buy-in from all my friends and family. And I will say, I feel like my friends were a lot more supportive and understanding then some of my family members were, but I was so used to having the approval from everyone all the time. With all my decisions, especially my parents. And I really value the opinion of my parents. I'm quite close with my parents. So whenever I didn't have the full buy-in from them, whenever they weren't a hundred percent supporting my decision to move abroad, it was really hard for me. It was really hard emotionally that I didn't have that. And I really struggled through it to be honest. So if that's you, I want to say, I completely understand where at. Because I was so used to getting the approval and then to not have that from my parents specifically was really hard for me. But one of the ways that I kind of think about this is that it's kind of like somebody who loves something specific, let's just do football as an example. So somebody loves football, they sacrifice a lot of time and a lot of money for football. They go to practice every single day. They pay above and beyond to be able to get the best trainers. They sacrifice a lot of money for that. They sacrifice a lot of their time. They're constantly sacrificing, you know, eating certain foods at restaurants with people because they're on a strict diet. They're constantly needing to work out. And so they need really good sleeps. They aren't staying out, you know, a little bit later with their friends. They're constantly going home really early, so they can go to bed so that they can. You know, have really, really good sleep. So many hours of sleep, they're sacrificing time on the weekends, wherever they're practicing or playing a game. So they're making all these sacrifices because they love football. And that's something where I would say, I don't really get that. Like I have a different priority for my life. So it's, that's kind of the example that I think of. It's just, you know, there's a sacrifice for every single thing, but I think it's just like that. Or with my dad was really obsessed with signs. He would look for hours for all these old, rusty signs that he would collect. And I don't really understand why one sign is worth so much more money than another side, but he understands because that's his world and the people in his world that are also really into signs, sacrifice a lot of money to collect all these signs. I mean, think of your example, whatever example is coming up to you for some of your friends and family and some of the things they sacrifice for some of the passions that they have, but it's kind of like that it's a passion. You make a sacrifice for that passion. And I think a lot of people didn't understand why I wanted to move abroad, but it's kind of that example. It's like, well, they didn't want to move abroad so they don't understand why I want to move abroad. But it's the same thing as somebody who is obsessed with football or collecting signs, or you name it in their life, you know what I mean? So that was something that was kind of hard for me to understand. And I wish that I would've learned that a bit sooner. And kind of along the same lines of, you know, I wish that I would have understand that. Some people just won't understand why I want to live abroad. So some people still ask me to this day. Was the U.S not good enough for you? And that question. I hate getting that question. It's not fun for me. Someone actually asked me this whenever I was just back in the U.S, like about a week ago, I got asked this question. So I still get asked this question even years later. So for some people they move abroad because they feel like the U.S is going in the pooper. That wasn't the case for me. I moved abroad because I felt really excited for the adventure and everyone has very different motivations, but I didn't move abroad because the U.S wasn't good enough for me. I moved abroad for very different reasons for the adventure. I was really excited about it. I was excited about the potential to learn a new culture and live amongst, you know, history and to be able to travel abroad easier. And to be able to have friends with people that are from different countries, all these different opportunities that I wouldn't have had in the U.S so it's not the U.S wasn't good enough for me. There's things that the U.S has that I don't have here. So every place has things that are pros and cons. But yeah, I think I just had to ask myself, do I want to live the life that everyone approves? At the sacrifice of not being able to live the life that I want to. And at the end of the day, I decided. Yeah, that want to make the sacrifice of not living the life that I wanted to. So I'm gonna say that one more time. I had to ask myself and you'll have to ask yourself, do I want to live the life, everyone approves at the sacrifice of not living the life that I want to. And that's a question that you're going to have to ask yourself. So that was the first lesson that I wish I would've learned sooner is that some people just won't understand why I want to live abroad and that's okay. The second lesson that I wish I would've learned sooner is that people I loved AKA my family and friends only discouraged me from moving abroad out of fear. Not because moving abroad was actually a bad choice. So I feel like in hindsight, I realized that my family and friends, and it was mostly my family that discouraged me. I felt like most of my friends were pretty supportive. Not all of them a hundred percent, but I feel like my family was mostly the one that discouraged me. And it was out of a fear of losing a relationship with me. Not because it was actually a bad choice. So whenever I first moved abroad, I felt like my siblings felt like I abandoned them. And I think they were worried about losing out on a relationship with me is what it all comes down to. And as I think the deeper kind of meaning or reason why they were kind of discouraging me or felt hurt or whatever that is. So I still keep a strong relationship with them. I still visit at least twice a year for about two weeks. I made it a priority. Whenever I first moved abroad, I knew that the flights were going to be expensive, going backwards and forwards, or back and forth between London and the U.S. So I knew that it would be expensive and I knew it would take time of course, to be able to go back and visit. But I decided from the very beginning that that was going to be a priority for me. I have met people abroad that only go back home once a year. Sometimes once every two years. But I made the decision for myself that even when I wasn't making very much money at all. I still wanted to budget for being able to have those flights. So that was something that was really important to me. And I made that decision at the very beginning. And that's something that I'm so glad that I did. And I think a lot of people mess up on. So I still visit twice a year for about two weeks. I still call my parents very regularly. And my sister, I talked with my brother into her ways. We more Snapchat because that's, you know, the style that he likes. And honestly, I should probably try to get them on the phone more so now. But yeah, I still call them. I still send my siblings reels back and forth. I still be doing the same thing. If I was in the U.S I still Snapchat them. I mentioned Snapchat kind of earlier on. I realized that the only way that my brother would communicate with me was via Snapchat because we have a Snapchat streak. For those that still use Snapchat. So, that's how I still communicate with some of my best friends from college and my sister and my brother and, another good friend of mine from high school. So yeah, I still have strong relationships with all the people in my life that are really important to me back in the U.S and I've proven that I can still have a really strong relationship with them, even though I live further away. And another thing is that I've proven that I can still be back in the U.S and there for my family and friends, if I need to within a day, if something comes up. So an example is that my grandma passed away recently. She lived a very long life. She lived a very happy life. So anyway, she passed away from old age. She was 98 years old and I found out that she had passed away and I literally booked a flight one evening. After I found out and the next morning I was flying out to be in the U.S and I was there that afternoon the next day. So I think I proved to myself and to my family that whenever family needs me, I'm going to be there. And it's a priority for me. And yes, the flight was a bit more expensive, but like I said, I told myself from the very beginning, that family was really important to me and that I wanted to be there for my family, no matter what, even though I live far away. And I prove that to them and to myself. And like I said, I feel like this is something that a lot of people. Who move abroad mess up on. I have seen that with some of my friends where they've also had a family member that passed away, but they chose to not go and spend the money and be there for family, whatever that happened. And that's of course, you know their choice and I'm not judging them for that. But what I'm saying is I made the choice for myself that if something like that happened, I'm going to be there for my parents and the loss of losing their parent. I'm going to be there. You know, for weddings that come up, I plan ahead of time for my flights. And I, you know, I go back twice a year, no matter what I least, but if there's a big family event, like a wedding, I have so many weddings coming up next year. I plan events or I play my flights around that. Around those big events, I can be there for the big things and not miss out. Of course I can't be there for every single thing. You know, I can't be there every single Easter and for Thanksgiving and for Christmas and for weddings and for, you know, baby shower and for like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You name it. So I feel like, you know, you can't be there for everything and I'll go into that in a little bit, kind of having FOMO. For missing out on things back home, but, yeah I feel like that's something that I wish I would have understood sooner is that, you know, people really just have the fear of losing out on a relationship with me. And the second thing is the fear of me getting hurt. I think that's why they also discouraged me from moving abroad was out of the fear of me getting hurt. So my parents were worried about my safety, but really Europe ranks higher and safety than the U.S I talk about this in episode 61. Why living in Europe is better than the U.S that's a recent episode. So you can go back just a couple of episodes to listen to that one. But basically Europe is a lot safer. So people you know, are just, they know what the environment that they're around is, but they don't know what the safety is like somewhere else. They think that it would be less safe, but in reality, it's actually a whole lot safer than being in the U.S so I think that was one of the fears as well. So they were worried about my safety. They were also worried about my finances. And to be honest, I was paid peanuts when I first moved abroad. But I make good money now, so people can still make, you know, really good salaries abroad. So that was one of their worries was just, well, I'd be able to financially support myself. And even whenever I was not making good money, like I said, I was making peanuts. But I still budgeted and I was totally fine. So I knew how much money I needed in order to live. And I was okay. You know what I mean? But that was one of their worries was about finances. And they're also worried about being so far away, but like I said, I still keep in touch often and I can still be there the next day if I need to. So the distance, you know, yes, it is further. Yes, the flights cost a bit more, but I'm going to be there for my family. And that's something that I had decided earlier on. And I'm so glad that I did that. But yeah, that's, I think that's the second thing that I wished that I would've learned sooner was that people, I loved only discouraged me from moving abroad out of their own fear. Not because moving abroad was actually about choice for me. And I think that would have given me a lot more peace earlier on if I would have realized that sooner. The third lesson I wish I would've learned sooner is that I was worried about missing out on events back home. I wish I would have realized that staying in the U.S would have come with its sacrifices as well. So I think realizing this sooner wouldn't have made me feel as guilty and I would have felt a lot less FOMO, fear of missing out if I would have learned this a lot sooner, so I realized that everything in life has a sacrifice. So I moved abroad, so therefore I miss out on my friends and family life events, but if I didn't move abroad, I would have sacrificed this life abroad that I love. So everything in life really has the sacrifice, the sacrifice of not moving abroad would be that I wouldn't have had this opportunity to get to know new cultures. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to make friends from you know all over the world from so many other countries, I would have had the opportunity for easy and cheap travel across Europe, where I can hop on a train or hop on a flight that's, you know, sometimes less than a hundred dollars and be able to travel abroad even on quick weekend trips. If I want to that would have been a sacrifice that I would have made if I didn't move abroad, I would have also not accomplished that dream I had of living abroad. And I think that's one of the biggest sacrifices of all is getting to the end of your life. And thinking back and realizing that you didn't accomplish the dreams that you had in your life. And that was a huge dream that I had of moving abroad and living in Europe. And that's something that I compost for myself, and that would have been a huge sacrifice. So whenever I think about, you know, oh man, I don't get to be at that Easter dinner with my family. I honestly, the last Easter dinner they had with a big family, I called them on FaceTime and they literally. They sent me, they set up the phone against a cup. It gets to glass. And I still got to speak with my family and chat with them for like 45 minutes, which bless them for being able to do that. I find that really funny. So I still got to be involved in the family dinner with all my, you know, aunts and uncles and cousins and stuff like that. And I actually have another cousin who is living currently in Panama. I also have a cousin who's living in Panama right now, and she does the same whenever it's a big family event, she'll call in and do FaceTime and we'll kind of pass her around to different family members. So we still get to see her face and still get to chat with her and catch up on life a bit. And I think it's nice that you still get to be a part of family events and things that are going on obviously it's not the same as being there in person, but I think it's really great that with the technology we have today, That we're not writing letters to different countries that take weeks and weeks to get there. You're not making as big of a sacrifice is what I'm saying from if it were to have been, you know, a few decades ago. So I think that's a great opportunity to still be able to be a part of life events at times. So, yes, I do miss out on life events sometimes, you know, if it's a baby shower or a wedding shower, or going to a family dinner or something like that. I do miss out on things like that, but like I said, I do plan my flights around big life events that are happening so that I don't miss out on those really big events for the people that I really love. But I obviously can't be there for every single thing. And that's, you know, my dad always says, that's a cost of doing business. It's just the cost that you have, you know, and living somewhere else, living in another country. But you would be making the sacrifice of not actually having the opportunity to live there as well. So I wish that I would have realized sooner that if I wouldn't have left the U.S then I would have made that huge sacrifice. I'm not accomplishing my dream of living abroad. And I think that it would've made me feel a lot less guilty about missing out on those life events that happen that I inevitably will miss out on because I have this even greater privilege of being able to live in another country and be able to, you know, experience different cultures and friends from all over the world and being able to travel across Europe and being able to accomplish this dream I had of living abroad so I wish I would have realized that a bit sooner. It would've made me feel a lot less guilty. And the fourth lesson that I wish I would've learned sooner about moving abroad is that you don't need your dream visa and dream job and dream life. Right? Whenever you move abroad. I'm not saying it's impossible to get your dream job and your dream pay and your dream home and your dream neighborhood, et cetera, et cetera. Right whenever you move abroad, it's totally possible. But what I am saying is that many people take whatever opportunity they can get. And once they're there, once you're living abroad, Then you can make a transition into what you really want. And I see that often that people will transition into a life abroad. And then they'll take steps to have their dream situation abroad once they're there, because then they have a foot in the door and it's a lot easier to pivot once you're there. And I just wanted people to know. I want you to know that it's normal and it's okay to do that. So whenever I first moved abroad, I took a temporary contract. For a company I did not want. So I worked for a listen to this. This is crazy to me, even to this day. So I worked for a company that explosion proved forklift trucks. Which is crazy to me and is not something that I was interested in at all. So this was a very industrial company. It wasn't even in Brighton, it was in a smaller. Like not very nice town. That was like 30 minutes away from Brighton, but I kind of lived around Brighton. I lived with five other people and a household. There was one bathroom. So I always felt like I was kind of intruding because it was kind of a family that was living there. And then a couple other people that weren't really family members, they were just kind of good family, friends. There was one bathroom, which is still crazy to me that we're able to make that work with five other people living there. But we did make it work. And I actually really enjoyed my time there and I became really good friends with the other people that were living there, even though they were like, Some of them were in their sixties, forties. One girl was like 16. It was just such a weird group I was living with, which was not my ideal situation. I would have loved to have more of you know, roommates/flatmates is what we call it here with people who are more my agent and my situation. So I wouldn't feel like, you know, In the way. Almost, you know, whenever they were watching a movie in the living room or cooking dinner together, I kind of felt like, you know, I needed to stay in my room it was not an ideal situation. I was paid peanuts. And let me tell you I was paid like such an insignificant small amount. It was insane thinking back on that. But I took the job anyways. It was also a temporary contract, like I said, which was not ideal and made it really stressful to move abroad with that situation and not knowing what was next. I also did not want to be in Breighton. I wanted to be in London, but Brighton was about an hours train ride away from London. It's on the coast, on the Southern coast of England. So I also, you know, I wanted a longterm visa, but I could only get a short term visa, so it didn't lead to permanent residency and I could only have it for less than a year. So I just took the opportunity that came along and now I have all the things that I want. I have the job that I want at the company I want at the pay I want, I have the living situation that I want. I have built all these things over time and I've been promoted over time and paid a lot more. And I have all the things that I would have dreamed about having a few years ago, but it took some time, you know, but I just wanted you to know that it's okay to just get your foot in the door for what's possible for you and your situation. and for you to transition into a new role to make a career transition, if that's what you really want to move to the neighborhood that you have always dreamed about a little bit later. And I just wanted you to know that that is normal and it is okay to do that. So I tend to be really hard on myself and I tend to have very high expectations for things in life and for myself. And I just want you to know that if you're like me, I just want you to know it's very normal just to move abroad and change course later, just get there. And those things will come with time. Many people will move abroad and change course later, and I just really wanted you to know that that's okay. And that's something that I wish I would've learned sooner because I was really hard on myself because pretty much nothing in my situation was what I had dreamed of. It was like, not even close. But I was like, you know what? It's just a foot in the door and I'm going to transition one time there. And I was right. It was a lot easier once I was already living abroad already in the country to kind of make that transition into what I wanted. And I see that time and time again with so many other people who want to live abroad. So, I just want you to know it's very normal and something that I wish I would have learned sooner is that you don't need her dream job and dream situation. Right whenever you move abroad, you can transition into that. And that's okay. So there you have it. Those are the four lessons I wish I would've learned sooner about moving abroad. Their first one was that some people just won't ever understand why I want to live abroad and that's okay. So that'll probably be the same for you. Some people just won't understand why you want to live abroad and it's something that you just have to accept. And I wish I would've learned that sooner second thing I wish I would've learned sooner is that people I love AKA, my family and friends only discouraged me from moving abroad out of fear. Not because moving abroad was actually a bad choice. And I think that would have given me a lot more peace and understanding earlier on the third lesson I wish I would've learned sooner is that I was worried about missing out on events, back home in the U.S. And I wish I would have realized that staying in the U.S also would've come with its sacrifices. So, if I realized this sooner, it wouldn't have made me feel as guilty and as much FOMO. If I would have learned that earlier on. And the fourth lesson than I wish I would've learned sooner is that you don't need a dream job and your dream situation, your dream neighborhood. Everything from the get go whenever you first move abroad. It's okay to just accept something and get your foot in the door and you can make that transition. Once you're already living there. It's a lot easier once you're there. So those are the four lessons I wish I would've learned. I really hope that this episode was helpful for you. And maybe you can learn these lessons that I didn't learn earlier on. Maybe you can learn them before you move abroad and it'll hopefully make your changes. And it will hopefully make your transition into moving abroad a lot smoother and easier than west for me. So with that being said, that is it for me for today's episode. Like I said, at the beginning, if you'd be willing to share this episode with a friend of yours that, you know, has talked about moving abroad in the past, that we can help more people accomplish the dream of moving abroad. I would really appreciate it. And the other thing is if you haven't yet left a rating and a review for this podcast, then I would really appreciate that as well. And again, just helps me share moving abroad and all my lessons and being able to help more people be able to move abroad. If more people are able to learn about it and learn about the podcast. So anyways, if you'd be willing to leave a rating and review, then I would really appreciate that as well. But yeah, that is it for me for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to another episode of the move abroad podcast. I'll catch you here again next week. Same time, same place. I'll catch you then.