115: If You Don’t Move Abroad: A 5-Year Thought Experiment

Most people who move abroad don’t regret it.

However, many people regret not going—and that’s what this episode explores.

In this episode, I walk you through a simple five-year thought experiment. You’ll imagine two futures: one where you stay, and one where you go. We talk honestly about what each path really looks like—not the romantic version, but the real one.

We cover the quiet cost of waiting, the myth of the “perfect time,” and the confidence that comes from finally trying—even if it doesn’t last forever.

This episode isn’t about pushing you to decide today.
 It’s about helping you get clear.

By the end, you’ll be left with one question: Which future scares you more?

👉Take the free quiz: Which European city should you move to? 🤔

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Website: jordangiberson.com
Instagram: @jordan.giberson

Transcript

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We all know that our plans don't always work out as we think that they will. A lot of times they end up changing quite a bit over time because that's just how life goes. It's just about taking imperfect action towards achieving your goal, because. The perfect time isn't real, but regret is. Regret is real.. Hey, my name is Jordan Giberson. I'm a Texas girl living and thriving in London. The best thing I've ever done? Moving abroad, hands down. And I'm passionate about helping others do the same. Are you curious about finding a job abroad? You're in the right place, friend. I'll teach you the tried and true secrets of how to make moving abroad a reality for you and how to live a fulfilling life once you get there. We'll cover topics like choosing the best visa for you, how to get a job offer in another country, how to get over your fear of moving abroad, and how to live a life you love once you get there, this is The Move Abroad Podcast. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Move Abroad podcast. Today we're going to be doing a little bit of a thought experiment. Most people who move abroad don't regret moving, but a lot of people deeply regret not moving abroad, and I think that we should talk about that today. So today we're basically doing a five year thought experiment. So five years from now, what will your life look like if you don't move abroad versus if you do. So let's go ahead and dive on in. Picture yourself in future. A. Future A is that you stay. You decide to stay exactly where you're at, and you do not move abroad within the five year period. So in these five years, I would say think about what your life might look like. You'll have the same routines that you have now, a lot of the same conversations with the people you talk with now. You'll be, watching others maybe move abroad or travel or change while you are waiting in the same place that you're at, which is really not a bad thing if you decide that's what you really want in life. But I think a lot of the times we have this mentality of maybe next year or in the next two years I'll move abroad. I hear that quite consistently. A lot of people push the can down the road and think, oh, in two years time it'll be better, or in two years it'll be easier to move abroad, or I'll feel more motivated or whatever that looks like. This goes with anything in our life. I think a lot of times whenever we have a goal or something that we want to do, if we continually think about it, we get in this loop of just thinking about it and planning for it, and we don't move forward because I think that it can quietly erode this confidence that we have instead of just moving forward and saying, I'm gonna have imperfect action to move forward. We have more of this. Like I'll sit on it and think about it, and then it takes longer and more effort to actually move forward whenever we sit on things for too long. Or at least that's how things happen in my life. I don't know if you can think of an example in your life of thinking about a big decision, and the longer you think about it, the harder it is to take action. And I think the truth is there are always reasons why now is not the perfect time to move abroad. There are always reasons why it's a little bit more difficult at this time, but life is never perfect and there really is never a perfect time. And if anything in the future it might even be harder than what it looks like now. You might end up having a child, or you might end up having a family member who is sick, or you might just have less confidence than you did or less excitement or less inspiration because you knew of somebody that moved abroad. And now you're not as connected with them or you felt really inspired after a trip to that place. But now it's been several years since that trip and you forget about it, or it feels a little bit blurry. Even though you still have this huge desire to move abroad. Maybe there's something that is causing you to be less motivated. The list goes on and on. Life is constantly changing and evolving, but I think that the longer we stay and we don't move forward with our dreams and our plans and what we really want. The likelihood gets smaller and smaller sometimes we have to jump on those opportunities and on those, feelings of inspiration. Not saying just go after things and not make a good decision for your life. That's not what I'm saying, but I think that once we've made that decision or we feel like that's really the path that we want, or the decision that we know that we really want for ourselves, so you know that future is whenever we're staying. Just picture what your life would look like if you did stay in the next five years. Think about the goals that you have in the next five years, how you might picture your life happening. We all know that our plans don't always work out as we think that they will. A lot of times they end up changing quite a bit over time because that's just how life goes. It's quite unpredictable. But just take a few moments to picture what you think your life might look like if you do stay, not being judgmental towards yourself, but just thinking about what your routine might look like, what your life might look like, who the people in your life might look like. What your job might look like. Just how that might feel in your everyday routine, your day to day. And just think about that over the next few years and what that future a could look like for you if you decide to stay in the next five years. Now let's think about our future B and our exercise in this future of ourselves. We are actually moving abroad. We're taking steps to move abroad, and we are living abroad within the next five years. We've been living there for maybe three years by now. And what would that life look like and what would that life look like for you? You don't need to be romanticizing it, but just be realistic. You might experience, you'll have to get your visa. You'll maybe have a little bit of an awkward beginning of getting used to the place of getting used to the culture. Maybe there's a bit of cultural friction. Maybe you have a little bit of loneliness. I think be realistic about what that might look like. But you can also picture a life where your routine looks quite different from what it looks like now. What would you envision your dream life looking like? Maybe you're on public transportation. Maybe you have an expanded worldview. Maybe you are away from the friction of politics in the country that you're living in. Maybe you feel a relief of having a better work-life balance. Maybe you've grown quite a bit. Maybe you have an increased self-trust because you've figured it out on your own and you've pursued moving abroad and you've done it on your own. You've done the hard thing that you always wanted to do. Think about that confidence that comes from doing something hard. Imagine yourself what you would look like in the next five years and just workshop that with yourself and the differences of how that might feel. But I think just being realistic about what that life might look like for you, in a realistic way and not in a romanticized way, but some of those romanticized things about living life abroad are actually kind of true. I really wanted to live by the river and I pictured myself walking or running along the river every day. And honestly I do that. There are days that I don't, but I really, really enjoy that lifestyle. And I do walk along the river every day. So that was a good decision for me. And my life in that way looks quite different than whenever I moved from my last neighborhood of where I was living in London. So anyways, that's a minor example, but I think that it's just good to picture what your life might look like and think about this comparison of the next five years and our little experiment or workshop that we're doing right now is thinking through what that will look like in the next five years and what path do you want to go down. We're constantly met with decisions of what do I want to do today? What do I wanna focus on this week? What do I want to focus on this year? Maybe you're still reflecting on that as we're at the time of recording this episode, starting a new year. We're towards the beginning of the year, and even myself. Went on my notes app on my phone and I've written down a few goals for myself for this year and I just added a new one actually today where I was like, that's something that I really wanna focus on this year. And the example actually was I really wanna get my driver's license this year in the U.K., get my manual or stick driver's license. I've never learned, I've only learned automatic. And also in the U.K. you have to get the license here, which I've never done. I only have my Texas driver's license. I'm getting off track here a little bit, but what I'm trying to say is, maybe you're still setting some of your goals this year, and maybe this is one of your goals to really reflect on moving abroad. And if this is something that you really want to do, maybe you've already decided that you 100% want to pursue moving abroad this year. Maybe you're still in the decision making process where you're like, okay, maybe this exercise is really helpful to think about. What would five years from now me look like? Would I be living here now and starting a family, or would I be pursuing living abroad and achieving that goal that I've had for a really long time? What does that look like for you? Just taking a few moments to maybe even journal, maybe it's not just listening to me talk on this podcast, but maybe you sit down, pause the podcast, or after the episode is over and you journal for a little bit to say. What would future a me look like if I stay here? And what would that life look like and what would future B me look like if I decided to move abroad? I know it's a little bit more difficult to picture exactly what that looks like because we haven't lived abroad, but just thinking about those trips that you've probably done, you've probably traveled, if you were thinking about moving abroad, you probably have traveled to at least in the country that you're thinking about moving to? So I'd say journal, what that felt like and the people around you, what their lifestyle looked like and what would that look like for you? What would you expect that life to look like? I didn't journal, but I thought about what my life abroad was going to look like. And for me personally, it's actually been so much better than I could have ever imagined it was. But there's also things that I wasn't quite expecting about living abroad, and that's just life. We just don't know what our future entails, always to the T. But I think that you can get a pretty good idea of the time that you've spent abroad. So I would just spend some time journaling and experimenting. I would just spend a little bit of time thinking through what that life might look like if you moved abroad versus if you did not move abroad. So I would encourage you to do that after this episode. Those are the two options for us of our little experiment that we're doing of future A, which is where you stay, where you are, and then future B is whenever you go, you actually move abroad and you do the thing. One thing I do want to chat about in the should I move abroad now? What does five years from now me look like? Is this myth about the perfect time? We've talked about this a little bit in this episode, this is the biggest hurdle that I see about people moving abroad is that they envision this perfect time to move abroad. A lot of times say, I'll move abroad in two years time, and I feel like that's a constant, like two years away. It doesn't feel too far away, but it still doesn't feel too close where you really need to start planning and thinking about it. It's like this perfect amount of time, it's far away, but it's close enough. But it's kind of, you keep kicking the can down the road, if you go back even in your photos. Just as a little example, and you look at two years ago, it probably feels like just yesterday. Two years goes by really quickly, but I think that we constantly think that it's far away enough in the future to not really address it, if that makes sense. What I wanted to talk about though is that the perfect time, quote unquote, is a total myth. There will never be a perfect time. Sometimes we say, we'll move abroad when I'm more qualified. I'll move abroad when I have more money. I need to make more money first. I need to save up more. Or I'll do it whenever life is simpler. Newsflash, life hardly ever gets simpler. A lot of times there's just more that happens in our life, and especially as we get older, we have more responsibilities a lot of times as well. So there's really not a perfect time. Yes. Maybe you need to complete something in your life right now that is a big hurdle for you. Maybe if you are waiting for a family member to finish certain medical treatments and you wanna make sure you're there for them in this very special time or important time. Maybe you are trying to finish your degree still, like maybe you're finishing your up your program, then yes, that makes sense to stay. If you're saying, oh, I wanna wait until my lease is up with my apartment, I don't think that's necessarily something that should be a bottleneck for you or something that's preventing you from moving forward. Or if you're saying like, I wanna wait until I get promoted in my job first, or I wanna wait until I start a relationship with somebody that's actually the worst thing that you could do. There's just never a perfect time. There are always, always, always going to be examples why right now or in the near future, it's just not the perfect time. So just move forward with the goals that you have in perfectly. It's just about taking imperfect action towards achieving your goal, because. The perfect time isn't real, but regret is. Regret is real. We think that the perfect time is going to come or will slip by quickly. Looking back at photos from two years ago, you're probably thinking if you do actually go look, that feels like it was just yesterday or only a couple months ago. Time just goes by so quickly, and our lives can go by so quickly without us. Even realizing, so we don't wanna get to, or at least for me, I said I don't wanna get to when I'm 60 years old and I'm looking back at my life and I'll probably say I had a wonderful life. I'm so lucky, but I regret that I didn't move abroad. I regret that I didn't try pursuing, moving abroad whenever I knew that's something that I really wanted at the time, and I regret not going after it. That was part of the reason why I decided to move abroad, was that I didn't want to feel that sense of regret, of not going after the things that I really wanted in life. And that was one of the biggest reasons why I moved abroad or one of the biggest, things that helped push me forward to move abroad. But what I wanted to just hammer home and I think that I have, is that the perfect time to move abroad is absolutely a myth or is never going to be a perfect time. I'm not going to say you have to decide today or tomorrow or start taking steps to move abroad right now. You don't have to decide to today, but you do need to start gaining some clarity. You need to start, to make a decision about moving abroad. Making the decision to move abroad is actually the first step to move abroad. It's like you have to have sure going to do it. And not just have this idea that's in your mind, but this thing that you know you're going to accomplish, that you're going to go after it start taking action towards it. Start really thinking about it. There's something that I having my goals for the year, which is to make a decision about something that's really important to me. And it's been something that kicking the can down the road. I have been just sitting on it for a while, but I'm like, no, I wanna finally make a decision about it and start moving forward with it. And it's a big decision for me in my personal life. That's something that is in my goals that I've written down. So maybe that's what you do if you have set your goals for this year. Maybe you write that down, that you want to finally make a decision about moving abroad. And maybe you start with this exercise of picturing your future self five years from now. Maybe you do take action after this episode to say, okay, I'm gonna just journal. I'm gonna maybe open a Google Doc, or maybe you'll type it on the notes app on your phone or. Maybe you'll go get a physical journal, if that's you. I think that's awesome that you still are, physical journal. I wish that I did that. But yeah, do one of those things. Take some time. It does not need to be an hour long activity. Maybe you just do it for 10 minutes, just take some time to get really honest with yourself about what five years from now you is going to look like. Are you going to be living abroad and what will that life look like? Or will you be where you're at now? Or maybe your life looks a little bit different than it looks like now, but you're still living where you're currently living. So just take some time to reflect and to write down what you think that your ideal life will look like five years from now to help you start gaining some clarity. Another exercise that I think might be helpful for you and something that I plan to do for my goal in trying to make a big decision is honestly to start a chat with Chat GPT. I'll start discussing where I'm at, being really vulnerable with kind of the emotions behind this decision and the pros and cons of what I'm thinking, and for Chat GPT to help me make the decision as well. To ask it what would you do or what are some considerations that I'm not even thinking about or can you give me an example of what my life might look if you move abroad versus if you don't? For me, if I move forward in what I'm thinking about or if I don't move forward, like what will those two paths look like? So asking Chat GPT to outline those two paths for you and what that might look like, honestly, I think can help bring so much clarity because you're just workshopping in your mind and with Chat GPT, what that life might look like. And I honestly think that taking the time to do that can be so helpful just to start reflecting and addressing that instead of just thinking that you're going to think about it, actually physically start workshopping that thought and start really like kneading through those, like that thought process and start like gaining some clarity. So anyways, I think those two actions for you after this episode I think will be really helpful to actually move forward with this thought experiment and start thinking through, if I do move abroad, what will my life look like in five years versus if I do move abroad, what will my life look like? So do that five year thought experiment for yourself and actually journal that, write it down somewhere and try starting to workshop. And ask Chat GPT to outline your life, what it will look like in five years from now if you do move abroad versus if you don't move abroad and to help you make that decision. So I would workshop that with Chat GPT as well. So those are the two options. Maybe you do one, maybe you do both. But I would encourage you after this episode, it does not need to be a 30 minute long hour long activity. I think even five, 10 minutes, so you can start getting a little bit of clarity I think will be helpful. So we all can take five minutes to do an exercise like this, I think that it is a worthy five minutes. It is worthy of your time to start doing this. Spending some time to do that and figure out for you, which this sounds negative, but which future scares you more? That's really the ultimate question that we're asking ourselves here, and maybe you wanna frame in a positive way, which future excites me more. You can frame it in that way, but sometimes the first one is a little bit more motivating, which future scares me more. I hope that you found this episode helpful. I do hope that you are able to take a bit of action after this episode, even if it's five, 10 minutes. I don't think it needs to be a long amount of time, but I think it's really helpful to start getting clarity on what would this, five year thought experiment looked like if I stayed versus if I went, if I moved abroad versus if I didn't. I hope that you do take time to spend time thinking through this with Chat GPT or journaling or writing in your notes app or whatever it looks like for you. And I just wanna thank you again so much for listening to the Move Abroad podcast. It means so much to me that you're here. Thank you so much for listening. And I will catch you here again next week, same time, same place. I will catch you then