129: Who should not move abroad? (honest take)

I talk a lot about how to move abroad and why it can be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make but this episode is different.

This is an honest conversation about when moving abroad might not be the right decision for you.

Not to discourage you, but to help you make a better, more intentional choice.

In this episode, we break down:

•  Why moving abroad won’t fix problems in your life 
•  The reality of discomfort, loneliness, and culture shock 
•  What it actually means to be financially prepared (without needing tons of money) 
•  Why it’s not a permanent vacation—and what daily life really looks like 
•  The effort it takes to build a life, not just move locations 
•  How to know if the timing in your life is right 

This isn’t about telling you not to move abroad.

Because the truth is: moving abroad is a major life change. And the people who have the best experiences are the ones who go into it with clarity.

If you’ve been thinking about moving abroad, this episode will give you the clarity you need to move forward with confidence.

👉Take the free quiz: Which European city should you move to? 🤔

Grab my free guide: 5 exact steps to move abroad

Website: jordangiberson.com
Instagram: @jordan.giberson

Transcript

0:00

You don't wanna live life and have regrets later. Like you wanna go for the things that you really want it's more just seeing what some of the stumbling blocks might be and some things that are holding you back from moving abroad it needs to be a positive thing. It needs to be us growing and excited about building a new life Hey, my name is Jordan Giberson. I'm a Texas girl living and thriving in London. The best thing I've ever done? Moving abroad, hands down. And I'm passionate about helping others do the same. Are you curious about finding a job abroad? You're in the right place, friend. I'll teach you the tried and true secrets of how to make moving abroad a reality for you and how to live a fulfilling life once you get there. We'll cover topics like choosing the best visa for you, how to get a job offer in another country, how to get over your fear of moving abroad, and how to live a life you love once you get there, this is The Move Abroad Podcast. hello and welcome to another episode of the Move Abroad podcast. Today we're talking about a little bit of a different topic because I'm gonna be honest, it has a bit of a negative tone to it, and normally I like to be really pumped about moving abroad and normally very positive about it because I truly do believe that it's one of the best things that you can do in your life if it's. A desire that you have, it very much was a desire that I had and it legitimately was the best decision that I've ever made in my life. I'm super happy living abroad. I've been abroad for over six years and I love whenever other people want to move abroad, it makes mes. So excited, and I love whenever people actually do it and whenever they report back and say that it has been an incredible experience because I've said this before, but I have never met one person that said that they regretted moving abroad. I do think it's worthwhile doing research to make sure that you're moving to the best place that fits you and your personality. I think that matters because. You know, different places fit different people's vibes, and that's totally fine. That's what makes us all different and unique, and I think that's really positive. But I really have only heard positive things about moving abroad. There will always be things that aren't perfect, just like any city in the whole world is not perfect. No life experience is perfect, but I do think that overall people's experiences are really positive. And so I was like, oh, should I not do this episode because I like being positive about moving abroad because I think that it's such a great thing to do. However, I think that there are certain reasons why people maybe should not move abroad. I think if there are certain characteristics that you have or certain life situations that you're in that fall within the topics that we're discussing today, then maybe moving abroad actually isn't the best fit for you. Or maybe it's just not good timing. Or maybe there's just a different time that might work better in your life, but we'll get into all the reasons why it might not be a good reason for you to move abroad. So we'll be talking today about who should not move abroad and my honest take on that, because I do think that moving abroad is an incredible experience, but there might be some reasons why it's just not right for you, or the timing just isn't there. So let's talk about some of those reasons in today's episode. So we'll go ahead and get started. The first example of when it might not be the right choice for you to move abroad is if you're trying to escape your life and not build a new one. I think this is a bit of a fine line because whenever we are moving abroad, we're leaving our old life behind a different life and we're opening up a new life. But I think that it needs to be a positive thing. It needs to be. Us growing into a new opportunity and excited about building a new life, but not trying to fix a problem that's in your life. I do think that sometimes we need a fresh start to quote, unquote fix something, but I think that if you are really unhappy or there are a lot of things that you just need to work through, and you probably know if that's you. there's maybe some mental things or maybe some like family issues that you really need to resolve and maybe you are using moving abroad to kind of separate yourself from those things or run away, for lack of a better phrase. But I think that we need to be really mindful about the reason that we move abroad, because moving abroad is not going to fix problems in your life. Is not going to fix everything. I think that moving abroad can sometimes improve problems that are in our lives, and I think we need to be very mindful about what those are. for an example, let's say that you've been feeling like maybe it's politics. Maybe you feel so overwhelmed and heavy with politics and how dividing it is. Maybe moving abroad will actually help that problem depending on where you move to. So maybe it will actually help that a little bit. But let's say you had a very. Upsetting family experience, but your family really needs you, but you just wanna get away and it's a problem that you're experiencing, but you're wanting to escape that. Maybe moving abroad and being really far away when the problem really needs to be resolved is not the best idea. I'm giving these like random examples that are coming to mind and you might have something in your mind that fits that you might be thinking, Nope, I'm not trying to run away from anything. This one is not me. And if that's not you, then that's awesome, but I think that this might happen sometimes with other people, like maybe you're having a really difficult financial situation. Maybe you are in a lot of debt, like a ton of debt, and you want to move abroad to escape that. I mean, that's something that's probably going to follow you. I think that we need to be very mindful about what those reasons are. So we're not just trying to escape our life. We're thinking about building a new one and. Maybe running away from certain aspects is kind of like a positive bonus. Like, oh, I just broke up with an ex and I think the separation would do me good. You know, I've always wanted to move abroad, but I just broke up. And I think the distance and having, a completely new country far away from that person maybe would be an additional bonus. I think something like that is not running away from something, it's kind of moving towards something positive, but maybe there's kind of that bonus item of being far away from your ex, just as an example. So when we're thinking about when it might not be the best choice for you to move abroad, and we're thinking about whether we're escaping from our life and not building a new one, I think it's just thinking about it and framing it in a way that we say, okay, am I really just running away from something? Am I. Afraid of the problem or don't want to deal with this problem in my life, and that's why I'm moving abroad because probably the problem will chase you to your new country and maybe even complicate things because you'll be further away and having all the, newness of moving abroad and all the complexities of that. Or is it that I'm running towards something? Am I running towards a new life, a new opportunity, a new adventure? Maybe I'm building on my career by doing this. Maybe I'm excited about building this new business in this country because I know it's a need that they have and it's and it's an opportunity in the market. So I think it just really depends on this reason. The second reason why it might not be the best choice for you to move abroad, it's not right for you, is if you're not willing to be uncomfortable. I'll be honest, whenever you move abroad, you're going to be uncomfortable. There's going to be so many new things from different accents to dealing with a bit of loneliness, perhaps to culture shock, a lot of admin that you need to do and stress around that. You're moving to a whole new place, a whole new country with a lot of changes, and I think that if you're not willing to be uncomfortable or you really don't do well with change, then this might be a little bit more challenging for you to move abroad. I think it's more if you are not willing to be uncomfortable if that is you, you're not willing to do that, then I think moving abroad is probably not the best fit for you because you will be uncomfortable For sure. Just in transparency. And I hate being so negative because I'm like. You just figure it out. I mean, and truthfully, I was so excited about moving abroad that, yeah, I was uncomfortable quite a bit and I had to adjust, but I was willing to work through those things. I was willing to be lonely and fight for making friends and put myself out there and make plans with people because I knew I really wanted that life. And maybe that's you. Maybe you really want that life and you know that you're willing to. Make the sacrifice, I mean, quote unquote sacrifice of being uncomfortable for a little bit to grow. And a lot of times whenever we're uncomfortable, it's because we're growing, it's because we're going into a new opportunity. So if you're feeling uncomfortable, it's probably a positive thing and it means you're doing it right. Another characteristic of somebody who should perhaps not move abroad is if you're not financially prepared and hear me out. I do not mean you have to have a million dollars in your bank account or even a hundred thousand or 50,000 or even 10,000. You can move abroad without having a massive budget. You can definitely make it work. I moved abroad when I was. Quite young and I did not have$10,000 even in my bank account, so I made it happen. If I made it happen, you can probably make it happen too. I think it's good to have a financial buffer. I think it's helpful. I think you need to be mindful about the lifestyle you're used to and the type of home you want to live in and the cost of living there and all of those things. But I think this is for the person that is completely ignoring their finances. Maybe somebody that's running away from debt. maybe somebody that. Hasn't thought about finances. I think that you just need to think about it. I think it's good to. Think through the cost that you'll have whenever you move abroad and just make sure that you have a buffer and you just wanna make sure that you're comfortable. I think moving abroad is stressful enough as it is, and you don't want to add that financial stress to your life whenever you're already having quite a bit of changes. So I think just making sure you're financially prepared and if you are, then absolutely move abroad. And again, please hear me out. I'm not saying you need to have a ton of money saved in the bank. I think it's just, you wanna make sure you. Are mindful about that and paying attention to it so that you can move abroad and have a smoother experience. Another type of person who should maybe not consider moving abroad is if you're expecting it to be a permanent vacation. I mean, it's life. You have to do laundry, you have to clean your dishes. There's going to be frustrating bills that you get in the mail that you shouldn't have been billed where it was, there was a miscommunication. I mean, there are going to be things that you have to deal with. That's just normal life, right? I mean, it's not going to feel like a permanent vacation. It's not going to feel like fun all the time. You're not going to be getting, maybe you could get a croissant every day, I don't know. But you're not going to be on vacation every day where you're doing a touristy activity where you're constantly entertained and having fun all the time. So I think that if you have that expectation, I think it's just really going into it with realistic expectations that you still have daily life abroad. It's still normal life. You still have work and errands and stress still exists. So I think just being mindful of that, that it's not a permanent vacation is really important if you're thinking about moving abroad. Another person who should not move abroad is the person where they just are not in a great time. It's just the timing is not right for whatever reason. Maybe you're having really big career movement. Maybe you have really big family obligations. Maybe you just don't have the mental bandwidth for right now. Maybe you've been having a lot of anxiety. Recently, or just big life events or things that, you know, you just need to figure out and finish before you move abroad. Maybe you still have kids at home that need to fly the nest and it's probably pretty obvious to you if there's something that's a really big blocker that you know that you need to finish before you move abroad. So it's not to say that you shouldn't move abroad at all but to say that maybe you need to complete. X, Y, Z thing before you take steps towards moving abroad. So maybe it's just the timing is not right, but I will give the caveat that I do often hear people say, oh yeah, I'm gonna move abroad in two years, and then two years passes by and then they say, I'm going to move abroad in two. And they just keep kicking the can down the road. I think that if you know that there's something in your life that it will close down at a certain point in the near future, then I think that makes sense. I think it's okay to wait, but if you're just saying like, oh, well my apartment, the lease doesn't finish until, eight months from now, so I really shouldn't be thinking about it. Or you give some other like small reason where you kind of just. Giving yourself an excuse rather than having a really valid reason. I think that's something to pay attention to. I think there is a big difference between where the timing just isn't right and you just need to be patient and wait for that life event or life thing to close down, or are you just making excuses for yourself. So I think that you need to be mindful about the difference there. And then the last type of person who should not move abroad is this type of person I, I'll give an example. I was speaking with two people at a bar in London. One time. They were visiting from the US and I was just chit-chatting with them and both of them said that they wanted to move to London. Both of'em lived in New York, I asked both of them the same question. I said, if you did not move abroad. And let's say that you're 60, 70 years old and you're looking back on your life, would you say, I regret it. I regret not moving abroad. Like would that be you? And one person said, yes, I would regret it. I would absolutely regret not moving abroad. This is something that I really want to do. Then that person should move abroad because it's a goal that they have. And you don't wanna live life and have regrets later. Like you wanna go for the things that you really want. And whenever you're reflecting on your life later say, wow, I'm so impressed with myself. I'm so happy I accomplished all that I wanted to do in this life. And the other guy, when I asked the same question he said. No, I, I actually wouldn't regret it. I love my life in New York. I love New York. I love the us. I love visiting London. I love spending time here, and I've thought about moving here, but I don't think that I'd regret it. And for him, who knows, maybe one day he decides to move to London and maybe he loves it, but for him, I'm like, okay, well if that's not something that you truly want, maybe he just likes the idea of it, maybe kind of. Like the vague idea of it, but it's not something that he truly wants, then maybe it's not the best fit for him. You know, maybe going to London for, a couple weeks outta the year or every once in a while makes more sense for him and that's totally fine. So I think that I would encourage you to ask that question for yourself, is that something that I would regret? Would I regret not moving abroad? Or is that something that I don't mind that I'm happy to just visit. So I think it just depends on your perspective there, and I think that's a pretty telltale sign of whether moving abroad is something that you really should do or something that's not the path for you. And that's okay. So to summarize, these might be some of the reasons where it might not actually be the right choice for you to move abroad. So it would be if you're trying to escape your life and you're not. Looking to just build a new one. If you're not willing to be uncomfortable, if you're not financially prepared, and you really are avoiding thinking about it, if you're expecting it to feel like a permanent vacation, if the timing just isn't right for you. If there's something in your life that really needs to close down before you move abroad, then maybe it's just not good timing and you just wait and lastly, if you feel like it's something that you sort of want, but it's not something that's a priority for you and you wouldn't regret not moving abroad if it came down to the end of your life and you were reflecting on your life. I think that's the last one. This didn't sound too negative. I think that none of this means that you should not move abroad. I know this sounds a little bit counterintuitive, but I think some of these things, it's like you should not move abroad if you're in that mindset or if you're in that phase of life, and I think that. It's helpful. Maybe thinking about this list, maybe there are one or two that you're like, oh yeah, I've been really avoiding the finance side of things. I haven't been thinking about it, and maybe that's something that I really need to think about. Or maybe you are trying to escape something in your life right now and you say. Okay, that makes sense. Maybe I need to address that thing in my life, and then once I do, then maybe it'll be a better time to move abroad. Or maybe you have been thinking that it's going to feel like a permanent vacation and you just need to shift your mindset a little bit. So with a lot of these, it's not like, oh, if you're not financially prepared right now, then you should never move abroad. It's not like that. It's not about that. I think it's more just seeing what some of the stumbling blocks might be and some of the things that are holding you back from moving abroad or. Your mindset needs to be shifted a little bit. So I think that you just want to think about these things and be intentional about maybe some places where you need to make some shifts. Maybe you are listening to all these and you're like, none of these apply and I'm ready to move abroad, then that's great, but maybe there are one or maybe two that you feel like, okay, maybe I need to address that. I hope that in listening to this episode, you feel like I'm trying to protect you and trying to encourage you or find the ways that you're kind of putting your own roadblock in your way instead of feeling like you're discouraged. I didn't mean this to be like a discouraging episode. I was like, Ugh, like this sounds a little negative. Like, should I do it? Should I not? And I was like, no. Like maybe this will be helpful for people. Maybe they'll think and say, okay, yeah, I've been avoiding the finance part. Like I need to just really work through that. So I do really want you to have a good experience and moving abroad and the journey to kind of get there. So I hope that listening to this episode was really helpful for you. And I just wanna say thank you so much for listening to another episode of the Move Abroad podcast. I'll catch you here again next week. Same time, same place. I'll catch you then.